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So today I had my first negative comment(s).
The funny thing is, it was about a book I really liked (The Genie's Curse). At the end of my review I had a quote from the book where Aggie finally almost gets to see her crush naked and then My Final Say said something to the affect of, "Ah the things dogs witness. Thank goodness dogs and walls can't talk."
These two features (Quotable and My Final Say) were not connected. One was just a fun quote of a funny moment from the book and the other was just me thinking about all the crazy things my dogs have seen over the years. Thank heavens my black lab can't pull a Duke (the Bush Bean Dog) moment and threaten to sell my secrets (and cellulite).
The commentator hit me with this:
"Of course. HIGHLY immoral to watch the male hotty take a shower. What? No! That's NOT popcorn in the microwave! Honestly, what sort of person do you take me for?"
Ouch, right?
Not what I meant (at all) and totally harsh.
So after I licked my wounds (sorry for yet another dog reference), deleted her comment, and tweaked My Final Say (so that it reads more clearly), I started to think of Story Siren, Sharon Loves Books and Cats, and all the other book bloggers who have been hit with ugly comments.
That brings me to today's Yackety-yak moment and question: How do you (my fellow book blogging bookworms) handle the haters and mean comments?
Do you delete them, write them, ignore them, set your comment setting to "only comments with Google Accounts", or simply shrug them off?
Is it just part of the nature of the beast? Do I need tougher internet skin?
37 comments:
I'm not sure what I would do, I just know you can't let it get you down.
Shrug them off... Some people just feel the compelling need to disagree, or criticize with no valid frame of reference.
Also, leave them in the comments section.. its always amusing how other commenters (that's a word, right?) react to the negative a-holes.
*cringing*
I haven't had one yet. I'm not sure what I would do.
(((hugs)))
Wow! That was harsh. To be honest, I haven't had a comment like that yet, but in the end, I think you should just ignore it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I agree with Jm Diaz - totally leave the comment for everyone to see. You'd be amazed at how many people will come to your defense.
Don't let it bring you down - I actually find comments like that amusing.
♥ Nely
um...I got a BIG hater on my site about a month ago. It was REALLY hurtful as it was about ME not my site...which they don't even know me!!
I just made it so ANONYMOUS couldn't comment and deleted it. I didn't let it affect me. You just have to think,"Don't hate me cause you ain't me!"
I like to think that book bloggers are a little more intelligent than the average and wouldn't stoop to the level of troll. But I guess there are immature bloggers in every sort of blog genre.
As long as it's just one comment (and they're not spamming you), I'd leave it up. It's an example of their rudeness and immaturity for all the world to see.
Ouch! That stings. I haven't had to deal with rude comments, so far. But I think you handled it well. I'm sorry you had to go through that; some people can be so rude.
I've been considering setting my blog to not allow anon comments. I've gotten several lately on older posts but nothing bad. Then, I got spammed from a blogger account that was either non-accessible or non-existent. So, now I'm realizing that if they want to get to you, they'll find a way.
Harsh comment! Personally, I think your reader overreacted. You blog definitely does not deserve such comments. I've never had a negative comment yet (but, I'll admit, half the time I check my blogs comments I fear someone will call me and/or my opinions stupid) so I don't know how I would handle it. It sounds like you handled it accordingly, though. I think I'd probably post it.
JuJu - before I started doing book reviews, I wrote my opinion about celebrity gossip and whatever was on my mind. I got "hate mail" quite a bit - - everything from being called an alcoholic to a sinner to an outright hater in general.
The best advice I can give you is to simply shrug it off. I know it stings but if someone didn't agree with your opinion, or didn't understand what you were trying to convey, oh well. There are some people out there who are simply looking to be mean or (electronically) confrontational.
And it's also possible that the poster thought he/she was being funny. It's always hard to tell from an online post.
You could always use this person's post to jumpstart a discussion about the book - - such as, if you were Aggie, would you follow Dhillon into the shower and stare, would you follow him and keep your eyes closed or would you stay out?
Good luck!!
I have to confess, I don't understand what the person meant by that comment at all. If I'd gotten that comment in response to what you posted, I'd have just been nonplussed and assumed they were making a joke I didn't get.
I have noticed a few nasty comments on various people's blogs recently. They tend to be on the blogs of people who are genuine, friendly and likeable, which makes it all the more confusing. It hasn't happened to me yet but I would be inclined to delete the comment and change to a system where I'd have to approve comments before publishing them for a while. The other choice is to leave the comment up and wait for your blogging friends to slap them down, but you probably don't want a lasting reminder of confrontation on your blog - especially since your blog has such a positive vibe. I think you handled it the best way.
I didn't really get that comment either so if it was posted on my blog I would have thought "Huh?" and moved on.
So far I never got a mean comment on my blog, but if I ever do hopefully I'd be able to shrug it off because I believe that is the best approach :-)
Juju - unfortunately after having been in the blogging world for as long as I have there are two things that come to be a given - rude/mean comments and spam comments. LOL
Depending on what was said, I'll either delete the comment or let it sit there - if it's a personal attack against me, as I have had before, I will delete it. If it's about something in my post, depending on the comment, language used, etc I might just leave it.
How you handle it is ultimately up to you and what you think is best - getting a thicker internet skin might not hurt, but usually the best option is to either ignore them or delete them. ;)
Oh, wow, sorry!
I have not had this happen to me yet but you never know. I'm not really sure what I would do. I don't understand it. Why comment if your just going to be rude?
If a comment made me feel bad I would definitely do as you did and delete it. Then I'd put that person out of my mind, because they're just not worth ruining your fun over, you know.
All the best, JuJu! I think your reviews rock!
The comment doesn't make sense to me. I haven't had this experience yet, but I think I would respond to clarify what I meant, and edit my post as well. If the commenter tried to start a flame war, then I would delete the comments. But I think your way of doing things if a good way as well.
I'm going to join in and say that I didn't understand the comment. When I see words in caps, I usually take that as sarcasm or emphasis for a joke. Hope it doesn't happen again!
Sorry... I couldn't help but laugh just a little that that person could be so dumb.
I haven't had very any really personal negative comments. But when I get a negative comment, I just try to shrug it off. If they have a point, I take it into account. Otherwise, I'm just happy to be eliciting a response. Can't expect them all to be good.
I'm sorry you had a bad comment... at least, it was kinda funny...
I'm lucky I haven't really had any bad comment yet *touches wood*, although I have had a couple *kinda rude* comments from people reading only half my review and telling me I didn't *get* the book. I usually thank them for their comment and-or ignore them! I don't get these people... I barely have time to comments on the blogs I like, I certainly don't have enough time to leave mean comments on people blogs!
I think you did the right thing, delete negativity. But I wish I understood the comment. I keep re-reading it and it doesn't make any sense to me either!!
I'm not sure what I would do, probably take it to heart (and be upset for a long time). I always think it's odd when people leave mean comments. What does it accomplish exactly? The answer is...well, nothing. Hopefully you don't let it get you down!
Sorry you got this. Why can't people play nice? I haven't gotten one yet (but I'm sure I will) so I'm not sure what I'd do. I guess I'll figure that out when it happens.
Hi Love, I moderate all comments and just delete and then mentally "brush off" any negatives. I mean they are part of blogging right? People are entitled to any opinions. I try not to take it to personally. Have a great week!
I have never gotten a mean comment on my blog. But I got some on rms. I did not let it bother me. If it can make me stop and think, I feel that is a good thing. If I change my thought about something...a great thing! If I just don't agree, then I just say, we will have to agree to disagree. If it was just plain mean and meant to hurt... I don't give them the pleasure.
I don't know if this counts but Jake got slammed by one commenter on his Cosmo post who seemed to think that he was insulting anyone who read the magazine. But Jake felt the person didn't get what he was saying so he did another post to address the commenter's concerns and explain his point. It actually came out well because they 'talked' it out.
We left the comment up, and these guys are right, several commenters came to Jake's defense. But again, it was more of an issue with what she perceived to be his opinion.
If we're putting our opinions out there, I can deal with someone disagreeing. But just plain mean, personal attacks are inappropriate, rude and wrong.
This is your blog, Juju, (and it's a great one) and you get to do with it as you please. If you don't like how someone is behaving, get rid of them! But don't let them get you down! There are too many people who love what you're doing here and appreciate your brilliance, generosity and kindness! Keep it up!
Very few so far that were meanish..., which I deleted. It puzzles me and amuses me at the same time that people actually do leave mean comments. Why not just go on and leave (the site)!?
THanks to negative and nasty comments... I view comments before I publish them. And I ignore them... not worth my time to be bothered.
Loved that Queen of very Little, can I be the princess?
You're getting mean comments? MY Juju? Ignore the beeyotches. Some people like to try to ruin everything. Psh.
You're getting mean comments? MY Juju? Ignore the beeyotches. Some people like to try to ruin everything. Psh.
I have yet to receive any negative comments but really, these bloggers are just being petty. Ignore them because they're not worth the drama.
Oh, and as for the cover of Psych Major Syndrome! I'm not a big fan of the girl they have on the cover but I do like the grass and flowers. It has such a peaceful look to it :)
I did not get that person's comment either, but I'm sorry it upset you. I'm not sure how is best to handle them. I guess it depends on the comment, language, specific situation, etc. I think you handled yours just great though! I know it's easy to say "just shrug it off" but I guess that's all you can do. Your blog is so great and positive, don't let it get you down!
nasty mean comments mean you have made it in the world of blogging! HA HA HA!
I have never gotten one ( yet), but I would just ignore it. This is the Internet after all.
Nasty comment= Oscar... speech... speech!!!
Ü
I just wanted to say thank you to each and every one of you for taking the time to comment and share your words of kindness and support. I love you all and appreciate every single word.
*group hug*
I'm going to join the club and say I have NO CLUE what that person is trying to say! Seriously, Juju -- I read it like 4,368 times, thinking I was somehow missing "the joke," but I've got nothing. Don't let it bother you! You're awesome! :)
The couple of negative comments I've gotten have been pretty harsh and stupid. People do seem to take things the wrong way sometimes. But I usually call up Elise (my other half of book blogging) and we rant about it for a while. Sometimes we comment back, and if they're nasty we delete them. But if they have a point that we feel its necessary to address, we leave it up for all to see, and hopefully this is a way to say "Ha! I'm not scared of you!" and possibly squash some of the negative thoughts of other readers...
Yowch! Thats got to hurt. Whenever I get negative/spam comments I delete them and if they really sting I go into a very bad mood, thinking what did I ever do to them? Until it drives me crazy and I have to do something more useful with my time, instead of moping.
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